Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Our long nightmare is over

Marie Osmond has been eliminated, and this long, horrible season is finally over. But I loved every minute of it!

Your winner?!? Helio Castroneves, which brings the final tally of Dancing with the Stars champions to:

Men: 4 (Helio, Drew Lachey, Apolo Anton Ohno, Emmitt Smith)
Women: 1 (Kelly Monaco).

Why do men do so well?

It also brings us to two titles for Cheryl Burke and two for Julianne Hough.

Rumored to be celebrity dancers next season: Florence Henderson and Celine Dion.

But, what they should do, is bring the top 2 from each season in Dancing with the Stars All-Star challenge. And, let fans select two wild cards from to fill out the cast.

How's this for a lineup for Season 6: Kelly Monaco, John O'Hurley, Drew Lachey, Jerry Rice, Emmitt Smith, Mario Lopez, Apolo Anton Ohno, Joey Fatone. Wild cards: Laila Ali, Stacy Keibler.

Just my luck

The season I decide to blog about for Dancing With the Stars, turns out to be the worst season, by far, in its history. Could there be 3 more unlikable finalists?

Marie Osmond: She seems to think every family tragedy is a good way for her to get votes. First fainting, then he dad passing away, then her son going into rehab. I'd have a lot more sympathy for her, IF SHE DIDN'T BRING THOSE THINGS UP EVERY TIME SHE IS INTERVIEWED. If she gets voted off first Tuesday night, I'm predicting she faints again, then wakes up and says "Don't move me, I'm paralyzed." Then, she stays laid out on the floor for the rest of the show, while the other finalists dance around her.

Helio Castroneves: All he has done is dump his fiancee to start dating his dance partner. Also, I read elsewhere that this whole thing has gone to his head.

Scary Spice: She is teamed up with Maks, meaning the two most egotistical people in the competition are paired togehter. Great.

Who do I want to win? That's like asking if I'd rather have a broken arm or a broken leg.

My guess is that Marie gets voted off first, and Helio wins the whole thing. But really, at this point, who cares?

Can we petition to bring the Cheetah Girl and Cameron back? Both of them are more deserving winners.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Farewell, Jennie Garth

Like I said all along, she never had a chance.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Here's how it will finish:

Monday night, the semifinals.

All did very well, though you can tell the judges would be fine if Marie Osmond did not make the finals.

Helio: 60 points
Scary Spice: 60 points
Jennie Garth: 58 points
Marie Osmond: 56 points

Going home Tuesday: Marie.

The final 3 will be Helio, Scary Spice and Jennie Garth. In a shock, Scary Spice will be the first eliminated from that group next week. Leaving Helio and Jennie Garth. Unless she has a disastrous final dance, Garth's fan base will pull her through, since I am sensing a slight backlash to Helio.

There. You don't need to watch the next two weeks now. It's all settled.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Down to five, who's gonna go?

Two dances this week. Who will be eliminated before next week's semi-finals?


Jennie Garth: I still think she's gonna win the whole thing. She seems scared to death out there though.

Cameron Mathison: Cameron has become my favorite, even though I don't think he's gonna win. He started off really poorly, and was one of the worst dancers of the show, but he has improved greatly, and seems to actually want to get better each week. His first dance Monday was filled with grace and elegance.

Marie Osmond: The most annoying of the candidates left. Always playing to the camera. Her partner, Jonathan, brings in his wife to show Marie it's OK if they dance close for the Rumba. I notice immediately that the wife always turns her head when Jonathan tries to kiss her. And she sort of makes a face. So, apparently it's OK if Jonathan dances close with Marie, as long as he doesn't try to kiss his own wife. And their Rumba lasted about 30 seconds. And Marie seemed very uncomfortable. And then Len called her old. Ouch. Tough week for Marie.

Helio Castroneves: The most erratic dancer of the group. He's either really good or really mediocre. He said a few words before the first dance, but I have no idea what he said. The first dance is the Paso Doble, which is my favorite of all the dances, and Helio knocked it out of the park. His partner, Julianne, my favorite pro dancer after Cheryl Burke, was wearing the ugliest outfit in the history of Dancing with the Stars.

Scary Spice: The best dancer of those remaining. Her husband came to practice for motivation, and I didn't realize she was married to former WWE champion Kurt Angle. She is dancing the tango with Maks. They are the best couple out on the dance floor, and really mesh well together, since they are both Divas. And Scary Spice gave the traditional goose to Tom Bergeron. What's that all about?

Dance Two

Jennie Garth: With the fox trot. Little-known fact: The reason Jennie and Derek are going first is because Derek is only 10 years old and has to be up early Tuesday for school. And the fox trot was nice. Jennie is sort of a middle-of-the-road dancer. But her fan base will pull her through to the finals. I still think she will win it all. And Bruno was right. Garth has yet to dazzle us this season.

Cameron Mathison: His partner, Edyta, went with the clothing optional costume again, which totally detracts from Cameron. Which is fine with me. Cameron hasn't recaptured the heights he hit with the Superman dance from a few weeks ago.

Marie Osmond: They gave Marie the two toughest dances for her this week. And if I never have to see her jump up and do the splits in mid-air again, that's fine with me.

Helio Castroneves: The best dance of the night. By far. And the first dance this season that I wanted to rewrite and watch again. Although, I don't think he was supposed to drop her at the end. And his outfit: Either a tribute to "The Mask" starring Jim Carrey, or a tribute to the banana section of the old game show "Tattletales" starring Bert Convy.

Scary Spice: Another good dance, but she was totally overshadowed by Helio.

Predicted bottom two tomorrow: Marie and Cameron

Who will go home: Cameron

Who should go home: Marie.

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Dr. Quinn, Eliminated Woman

Jane Seymour, 93, was eliminated from Dancing with the Stars. They did not announce a bottom 2, which leads me to believe that Marie Osmond was in the bottom 2, but they didn't want to make her feel worse.

Remember, Jennie Garth will win the whole thing.

Love is in the air

From AOL.com:

Even though Sabrina Bryan and Mark Ballas' 'Dancing With the Stars' run is over, their partnership hasn't ended.

Bryan and Ballas, who were eliminated last week from the competition, have admitted they are dating, according to PEOPLE.com.

"I absolutely love and adore him," the 'Cheetah Girl' told TV Guide.

Bryan and Ballas join Mario Lopez and his former partner Karina Smirnoff as 'Dancing' pairs who have found romance off-screen.