Dancing with the Stars and Idols

Our long nightmare is over

2007-11-27T20:06:00.000-08:00

Marie Osmond has been eliminated, and this long, horrible season is finally over. But I loved every minute of it!

Your winner?!? Helio Castroneves, which brings the final tally of Dancing with the Stars champions to:

Men: 4 (Helio, Drew Lachey, Apolo Anton Ohno, Emmitt Smith)
Women: 1 (Kelly Monaco).

Why do men do so well?

It also brings us to two titles for Cheryl Burke and two for Julianne Hough.

Rumored to be celebrity dancers next season: Florence Henderson and Celine Dion.

But, what they should do, is bring the top 2 from each season in Dancing with the Stars All-Star challenge. And, let fans select two wild cards from to fill out the cast.

How's this for a lineup for Season 6: Kelly Monaco, John O'Hurley, Drew Lachey, Jerry Rice, Emmitt Smith, Mario Lopez, Apolo Anton Ohno, Joey Fatone. Wild cards: Laila Ali, Stacy Keibler.

Just my luck

2007-11-27T01:20:00.000-08:00

The season I decide to blog about for Dancing With the Stars, turns out to be the worst season, by far, in its history. Could there be 3 more unlikable finalists?

Marie Osmond: She seems to think every family tragedy is a good way for her to get votes. First fainting, then he dad passing away, then her son going into rehab. I'd have a lot more sympathy for her, IF SHE DIDN'T BRING THOSE THINGS UP EVERY TIME SHE IS INTERVIEWED. If she gets voted off first Tuesday night, I'm predicting she faints again, then wakes up and says "Don't move me, I'm paralyzed." Then, she stays laid out on the floor for the rest of the show, while the other finalists dance around her.

Helio Castroneves: All he has done is dump his fiancee to start dating his dance partner. Also, I read elsewhere that this whole thing has gone to his head.

Scary Spice: She is teamed up with Maks, meaning the two most egotistical people in the competition are paired togehter. Great.

Who do I want to win? That's like asking if I'd rather have a broken arm or a broken leg.

My guess is that Marie gets voted off first, and Helio wins the whole thing. But really, at this point, who cares?

Can we petition to bring the Cheetah Girl and Cameron back? Both of them are more deserving winners.

Farewell, Jennie Garth

2007-11-20T19:53:00.000-08:00

Like I said all along, she never had a chance.

Here's how it will finish:

2007-11-19T22:27:00.000-08:00

Monday night, the semifinals.

All did very well, though you can tell the judges would be fine if Marie Osmond did not make the finals.

Helio: 60 points
Scary Spice: 60 points
Jennie Garth: 58 points
Marie Osmond: 56 points

Going home Tuesday: Marie.

The final 3 will be Helio, Scary Spice and Jennie Garth. In a shock, Scary Spice will be the first eliminated from that group next week. Leaving Helio and Jennie Garth. Unless she has a disastrous final dance, Garth's fan base will pull her through, since I am sensing a slight backlash to Helio.

There. You don't need to watch the next two weeks now. It's all settled.

Down to five, who's gonna go?

2007-11-13T00:17:00.000-08:00

Two dances this week. Who will be eliminated before next week's semi-finals?

DANCE ONE

Jennie Garth: I still think she's gonna win the whole thing. She seems scared to death out there though.

Cameron Mathison: Cameron has become my favorite, even though I don't think he's gonna win. He started off really poorly, and was one of the worst dancers of the show, but he has improved greatly, and seems to actually want to get better each week. His first dance Monday was filled with grace and elegance.

Marie Osmond: The most annoying of the candidates left. Always playing to the camera. Her partner, Jonathan, brings in his wife to show Marie it's OK if they dance close for the Rumba. I notice immediately that the wife always turns her head when Jonathan tries to kiss her. And she sort of makes a face. So, apparently it's OK if Jonathan dances close with Marie, as long as he doesn't try to kiss his own wife. And their Rumba lasted about 30 seconds. And Marie seemed very uncomfortable. And then Len called her old. Ouch. Tough week for Marie.

Helio Castroneves: The most erratic dancer of the group. He's either really good or really mediocre. He said a few words before the first dance, but I have no idea what he said. The first dance is the Paso Doble, which is my favorite of all the dances, and Helio knocked it out of the park. His partner, Julianne, my favorite pro dancer after Cheryl Burke, was wearing the ugliest outfit in the history of Dancing with the Stars.

Scary Spice: The best dancer of those remaining. Her husband came to practice for motivation, and I didn't realize she was married to former WWE champion Kurt Angle. She is dancing the tango with Maks. They are the best couple out on the dance floor, and really mesh well together, since they are both Divas. And Scary Spice gave the traditional goose to Tom Bergeron. What's that all about?

Dance Two

Jennie Garth: With the fox trot. Little-known fact: The reason Jennie and Derek are going first is because Derek is only 10 years old and has to be up early Tuesday for school. And the fox trot was nice. Jennie is sort of a middle-of-the-road dancer. But her fan base will pull her through to the finals. I still think she will win it all. And Bruno was right. Garth has yet to dazzle us this season.

Cameron Mathison: His partner, Edyta, went with the clothing optional costume again, which totally detracts from Cameron. Which is fine with me. Cameron hasn't recaptured the heights he hit with the Superman dance from a few weeks ago.

Marie Osmond: They gave Marie the two toughest dances for her this week. And if I never have to see her jump up and do the splits in mid-air again, that's fine with me.

Helio Castroneves: The best dance of the night. By far. And the first dance this season that I wanted to rewrite and watch again. Although, I don't think he was supposed to drop her at the end. And his outfit: Either a tribute to "The Mask" starring Jim Carrey, or a tribute to the banana section of the old game show "Tattletales" starring Bert Convy.

Scary Spice: Another good dance, but she was totally overshadowed by Helio.

Predicted bottom two tomorrow: Marie and Cameron

Who will go home: Cameron

Who should go home: Marie.

Dr. Quinn, Eliminated Woman

2007-11-06T22:31:00.001-08:00

Jane Seymour, 93, was eliminated from Dancing with the Stars. They did not announce a bottom 2, which leads me to believe that Marie Osmond was in the bottom 2, but they didn't want to make her feel worse.

Remember, Jennie Garth will win the whole thing.

Love is in the air

2007-11-06T17:15:00.000-08:00

From AOL.com:

Even though Sabrina Bryan and Mark Ballas' 'Dancing With the Stars' run is over, their partnership hasn't ended.

Bryan and Ballas, who were eliminated last week from the competition, have admitted they are dating, according to PEOPLE.com.

"I absolutely love and adore him," the 'Cheetah Girl' told TV Guide.

Bryan and Ballas join Mario Lopez and his former partner Karina Smirnoff as 'Dancing' pairs who have found romance off-screen.

Who's gonna win? Who cares?

2007-11-06T01:48:00.000-08:00

Gee, all the fun people have been eliminated from the show. Is there anyone you look forward to seeing dance each week? Not really.

Tuesday's show will be interesting to see if ABC makes Len Goodman apologize for his President Bush joke. They shouldn't. It was obviously a joke, and last I checked, you are allowed to make jokes in America.

It was nice to see Mel B. take some fashion tips from Edyta. And what's with her and Tom Bergeron? She can't seem to keep her hands off of him.

As for the rest of the show, it was pretty boring. And Bruno's act is getting old. Stop shouting already. You wear a microphone for a reason.

When does American Idol start?

Predicted bottom two: Jane and Cameron.

Going home: Cameron.

Who will win it all? Jennie Garth. Remember, you heard it here first.

Cheetahs Never Prosper

2007-11-01T20:40:00.000-07:00

Sorry for no update this week. I was watching Bruce Springsteen live in concert. However, it is shocking that Sabrina Ryan, the best dancer this season, was eliminated. Who's gonna win now? My prediciton: Jennie Garth.

Farewell, Mark

2007-10-24T17:18:00.001-07:00

It was fun while it lasted. Thanks for being a class act.

Week 5, I Feel Faint Edition

2007-10-23T00:24:00.000-07:00

So we start off with Marie Osmond. Her dance wasn't that good, but, the big news is after the dance: She fainted. After the dance, when Len was talking, you could hear her breathing heavily, and down she went. Some on the Internet immediately started speculating that she faked the fainting spell to get sympathy. Which is ludicrous. If she was that good of an actress, she would be in movies and not on this show. So, let's hope she is doing OK. Her score, as silly as it seems to mention it, was a 21.

By the way, Tom Bergeron is an excellent host, handling the entire episode very smoothly.

Jane Seymour is up next. Again, she brings a grace and elegance to the floor, but there is something robotic about her performances. She scored a 26.

Mark Cuban. There is no one more fun to watch in this competition that Cuban. He seems to be having a great time. He's the worst dancer left, by far, but I think he will last another week.

Sabrina Cheetah Girl. She seems like a puppy, always laughing and giggling. I'd swear she is about 8 years old. But, she can dance, and is the best dancer in the competition. Her partner appeared to be missing a few buttons on his shirt. The best dance of the night, so far. Her score: 28.

Jennie Garth is next. Garth's outfit was, I'm guessing, a tribute to Big Bird, which is appropriate since her partner appears to be about 5 years old. The dance was a little stiff. I've said it before, but these are the worst group of celebrity dancers in the 4 seasons the show has been on the air. Her score: 25.

Helio Castroneves. He actually appears to be getting worse each week, instead of better. His score: 23 points.

Mel B., the Spice Girl not married to Beckham. Ooooh, they actually showed Victoria Beckham, who must think it's Halloween already. Could she have a little more plastic surgery? OK, back to Mel B., who did very well dancing to a Spice Girls song. Her score: 29 points. She won't be in the bottom 2 this week.

Cameron Mathison is the last dancer of the night. His partner, Edyta, continues in her quest to wear as little as possible on network television. And the dance. Gee, I've seen less suggestive moves at 2 a.m. on Cinemax. I'm glad my kids are asleep. Everyone feels faint after that. I'm going to go take a cold shower, then I'll be back.............. OK, Cameron's score was 26 points.

And that does it.

Predicted bottom two: Mark Cuban and Helio Castroneves.

Going home: Mark Cuban.

Farewell, Floyd

2007-10-16T21:34:00.001-07:00

We hardly knew ye. Way to alienate any remaining voters with your tantrum the night before.

Week 4, Night 1

2007-10-16T00:44:00.000-07:00

Samantha Harris is back! I never thought I'd be happy to see that, but after the Drew Lachey debacle, I am.

Mark Cuban: He's up first. They start off with his family, visiting him in training. Seeing his daughter reminds me: Mr. Cuban, if you put $1,000,000 in a trust fund for my 3 daughters to go to college, I will refrain from making fun of you. I have to say, this was Cuban's best effort of the series so far. He really seems to be enjoying himself, and he has become much more graceful.

By the way, before Cuban's scores were revealed, host Tom Bergeron thanked the band, which he does every week. Which only leads to one conclusion: Tom Bergeron is legally deaf. Because the band on this show is HORRIBLE. They play songs poorly, they have bad singers, and they never keep the same tempo throughout the song. ABC would be better off buying one of those toy wind-up monkeys and letting that play the music.

Sabrina the Cheetah Girl: Now, on the ABC site, their message board is filled with people who hate Sabrina because "she's fat." Which to me is atrocious to say. I make fun of people, sure, but to call a young girl fat just because you don't like her is just pathetic, and ABC should be ashamed for letting that kind of talk be published on their site. OK, back to the show: She did the Paso Doble, my favorite of the dances. And while Sabrina is a good technical dancer, there's just something missing when I watch her. But the judges loved her, and gave her a 30. Which I thought was undeserved.

Jane Seymour: Seymour is graceful and elegant. She reminds me of a great Julie Andrews movie, or Grace Kelly. And then, the moment was ruined by the judges bickering over lifts. Then there was more bickering between Len and Bruno. And of course Bruno, probably realizing that Tom Bergeron is deaf, has to shout everything he says. So the whole moment went away from Jane Seymour, and became about the judges. But Seymour scored 26 points.

Floyd Mayweather: Mayweather is my least favorite of the remaining dancers. And this week, he shows his immature side by taking everything personally. Hey Floyd, you want to impress those elementary school kids who were supporting you this week? Then show some maturity and don't storm off like a 6-year-old. And then he danced, and it was his best dance, but there is something joyless in his dancing. And then Carrie Anne goes on about lifts again! Stop it! Floyd's score: 23.

Mel Spice Girl: She started before the music began. And she's a good dancer. There's not a lot else to say. Her score: 26 points.

Cameron Mathis: Wow, they got stuck with the "Theme From Superman." And it was the best dance of the night. I enjoyed how Edyta choreographed it so she was Superman's cape, and he was Superman. A really solid effort. Probably my favorite dance of the season so far. His score: 27 points. I'm not sure how he gets 27 while Sabrina gets a 30.

Marie Osmond: Wow, her best dance of the season, and right up there with Cameron's as the best dance of the whole season for anyone. Her score: 26 points.

Jennie Garth: I just noticed. Her dance partner is about 12 years old. And another good dance. Just when I'm about to write off the season as a total bore, come three good dances in a row. Hey, Carrie Anne is harping on lifts again! What is her problem this week? Her score: 27 points. Another dance that was better than Sabrina's, yet she is the one with the 30.

Helio Castroneves: First off, Julianne's costume distracted me, because feathers kept molting off of it during the dance. Helio is by far the best of the male dancers, and should make it into the final 3. But I'm afraid he doesn't have enough of a fan base to win. His score: 27 points.

And that's the show for this week.

Predicted bottom 2 Tuesday: Floyd Mayweather and Mark Cuban.

Going home: Floyd Mayweather.

Week 3

2007-10-10T16:19:00.000-07:00

My apologies to the 7 people who read this blog. I had a cold and was in no mood to write a recap. But I'm much better now!

One thing I have noticed about this season: This is the most boring group of contestants they have ever had. There's not one magnetic personality that you look forward to seeing. No one is such an outstanding dancer that you can't wait to see them. They are all middle-of-the-road, and boring. There's not even a dancer bad enough that you enjoy watching their horribleness.

The 3 best dancers on the show are Helio, Sabrina and Mel B. But do they have the fan base to help them get to the final 3 in the competition?

Wayne Newton went home, and it's about time. He was the worst dancer left, narrowly beating out Mark Cuban for that title. It was surprising they paired him up with Cheryl Burke. Burke is the most popular of the pro dancers, so I figured they would give her a better partner to keep her on the show longer. Some people won't watch now that she has been eliminated.

And, finally, I want to salute Jane Seymour, who had the dance of the week. The tribute to her late mother, and dancing for her, was extremely emotional. I've made fun of her the last couple of weeks, because that's what I do, but I have nothing but praise and admiration for her today.

Oh, and why let Seal sing twice? They should have let Billy Ray and Miley sing twice.

Week 2, Elimination

2007-10-02T22:40:00.000-07:00

Unbelievable. Model Albert Reed is voted off the show. Guys who look like we do always have it tough. I'm not sure why the caption above says George Clooney and Albert Reed. That's obviously me with Albert. I always get confused for Clooney.

Week 2, Night 1

2007-10-02T00:43:00.000-07:00

Up first: Mel and Maks. Maks is the toughest of the pro dancers, in that nothing seems to please him. They are dancing the quickstep to A-ha's "Take on Me" and I think the singer hurt himself on a couple of the high notes. This looks like the toughest dance to me, and Mel B. did very well. And the judges liked her, giving her a 23 points. She'll be back next week. And Drew pulls out the first Spice Girls joke of the competition. And I hope you've noticed that I have avoided the easy Spice Girls joke in every recap.

Next: Mark Cuban and Kym. Kym has decided to wear as little as possible, to get the male vote. Shame on you! (The fact my wife reads this has no effect on me saying that). By the way Mr. Cuban, my offer of $1,000,000 in a trust fund for me 3 daughters to go to college in exchange for not making fun of you still stands. And I thought he did much better than the judges thought. Cuban is a lot of fun to watch, and gives hope to all of us uncoordinated white guys everywhere. His score: 18 points. It doesn't look good for Mark Cuban, who, if he is voted off, will probably buy ABC and fire the 3 judges.

Next: Wayne and Cheryl. Wow, the judges were tough on him. This is a 65-year-old guy doing the quick step, and they just let him have it. OK, I agree his quickstep looked like something you'd see at Bingo night at your local senior citizen's center, but give the guy a break. His score: 15 points.

Next: Marie and Jonathan. Dancing the mambo, and doing a swell job. She is a good performer, and really sells the dance. I've been the most impressed by her in this whole competition. She won't win, but could make it into the top 6. Her score: 24 points.

Next: Albert the model and Anna. Again, it's like looking in a mirror. It's like we were separated at birth. And the dance didn't work for me. He seemed to be a step off the entire dance, and he didn't grab the crowd like he did last week. Perhaps the pressure of dancing for his late grandfather got to him. But that is understandable. His score: 21 points.

By the way, Drew Lachey, my favorite dancer from all 4 seasons, is really bad as a co-host.

Next: Helio and Julianne. Little-known fact: Helio is only four feet tall. Better-known fact: He is the person to beat in the competition. Another great dance. Best of the night. His score: 27 points. The best dancer of the amateurs, combined with the best choreographer of the pros, makes them tough to beat.

Next: Jennie and Derek. They fell at the end! They fell! And they got 21 points! How can you fall and not finish in last place?

Next: Cameron and Edyta. Edyta apparently has decided to dress like an iridescent ostrich. Cameron never stays on the beat, and you never feel a sense of joy watching him. I don't think Latin dances suit him. His score: 21 points.

Next: Floyd and the always-grouchy Karina. Floyd always looks stiff on the floor, like he's thinking of his next move, instead of just dancing. His score: Hey, 21 points! Apparently 7 is the only paddle the judges have now.

The Geico Cavemen are in the audience. That doesn't detract from the show at all.

Next: Jane and Tony, dancing to a Ricky Ricardo song, which will make my daughter Samantha happy. Seymour, who is 93 years old, did OK. Her score: Hey, 21 POINTS! My brother-in-law David told me last week that he is able to predict the judges' scores before they show them. Since all they apparently give is 21, that's not as impressive as it sounds.

Tom Bergeron is a great host.

Next: The Cheetah girl and Mark. The Cheetah Girl lost a battle with some tanning spray this week. She did well, and will easily make it deep into the competition. She and Helio are the best dancers on the show this season. Her score: 26 points.

Predicted bottom 2 tomorrow: Mark Cuban and Albert.

Going home: Mark Cuban.

Night 3: One down, 11 to go

2007-09-27T01:39:00.000-07:00

The bottom two: Josie Maran and Mark Cuban

Eliminated: Josie Maran

Not a surprise. But this doesn't bode well for Cuban, who was in the middle of the judges' standings, so he must have a very small fan base supporting him.

Now, if he was smart, he'd try to pick up votes by doing something very generous, such as putting $1,000,000 in a trust fund for someone he doesn't know, but who has 3 daughters to put through college.

That's what I would do.

Night 2: Boys' Club

2007-09-26T00:38:00.000-07:00

For those of you wondering what happened to the Night 1 recap, let's just say that there was an incident with the Tivo and a 6-year-old. So, if you want a recap of the madcap antics on "Drake and Josh" or "Hannah Montana", I can do it.

Now, Night 2.

First of all, I wish Samantha Harris much health and happiness with her new baby. But she wasn't the greatest co-host in the world, so seeing Drew Lachey was a nice change.

Also, just watching the quick recap of Night 1, I'm already tired of Sabrina Cheetah Girl. And, Josie will be going home.

First up: Cameron Mathison. They immediately play the "I wore braces like Forrest Gump" as a child sympathy card.

Cameron did OK. Of course, the men always have it much easier than the women in these competitions. The judges seemed to like it OK, and Cameron received: 21 points.

By the way, a quick note to the celebrities. People at home don't want to hear how hard it is to jet in from New York every week to work on your dancing while still trying to learn your lines for the TV show. See, that doesn't qualify as a tough life for most people watching.

Up next: Floyd Mayweather, who could beat me to a pulp using only his pinkie, so I'm pretty sure I'll like whatever he does. He is teamed with Karina Smirnoff, so you know Mario Lopez is not liking this.

Mayweather seemed a little stiff, but was a lot of fun to watch. He brought a lot of energy to the floor, but seemed to always be thinking about his next move. His score: 18 points. But I'd rather watch Mayweather dance than Cameron.

Helio Castroneves is next, and I'll avoid the obvious "He'll dance in circles around the floor" Indy Car joke.

OK, he crashed into a wall at 200 miles per hour, so he is allowed to discuss how tough he has it.

That was the best dance of the night so far. Helio played up to the camera, and seemed to realize he was giving a performance. Good job. Also, his partner, Julianne, is the best choreographer of any of the dancers. His score: 25 points.

Albert Reed is next. And you can hear people all across the country say "I thought they were supposed to have celebrities on this show."

Of course, they show the male model surfing, so we can get a shot of him with his shirt off. And my first thought is how much the guy looks like me with my shirt off. So he's got that going for him. And..... he did OK. It was certainly interesting. His score: 21 points.

And after watching Drew Lachey for four interviews I'd like to say: Samantha Harris, please come back, all is forgiven.

Mark Cuban, who is worth about 30 trillion dollars, is up next. And I will make my initial standing offer to Mr. Cuban: If you put $1,000,000 in a trust fund for my 3 daughters to go to college, I will refrain from making fun of you. Just drop me an e-mail, and we can discuss the details.

But until then, let me just say that he wasn't as bad as I was expecting. And I'm not just saying that because I want him to put $1,000,000 in a trust fund for my 3 daughters to go to college. He was fun to watch. Cuban's score: 21 points.

The final dancer of the evening is the wax likeness of Wayne Newton. Whoops, apparently that is the actual Wayne Newton. I'm not sure, but I think he has had a touch of plastic surgery.

His partner is Cheryl Burke, so this is the worst partner she has ever had. And you know what? He was fun to watch. He is a big enough star that he doesn't have to do things like this, and he doesn't have to give his best effort, but he did, and you have to respect that. He's also fortunate to have Burke as his partner, she is very good at bringing out the strengths of her partners. His score: 19 points.

The standings:

Helio Castroneves: 25
Cameron, Albert and Mark: 21
Wayne and Cheryl: 19
Floyd and Karina: 18

Going home tomorrow: Josie (Did you notice they focused in on her when Tom Bergeron said someone is going home tomorrow?)

We'll have a quick recap tomorrow after the results show.

Dancing with the Stars: Preview

2007-09-02T21:45:00.000-07:00

Well, the cast for the new season of Dancing with the Stars has been announced. And it is quite the eclectic roundup. Handicapping the field:

MELANIE BROWN (partnered with MAKSIM CHMERKOVSKIY, who returns for his fourth season): I guess Posh Spice said no. Will Eddie Murphy be in the audience? You would think she should be a favorite, what with her Spice Girls training. Too bad it's not a lip-synch contest, she'd win hands down.

SABRINA BRYAN (partnered with newcomer MARK BALLAS). Bryan, part of "The Cheetah Girls" is this year's desperate attempt to lure the teen audience into watching.

HELIO CASTRONEVES (partnered with defending champ JULIANNE HOUGH, who returns for her sophomore season). Don't worry, no one else has heard of him either. He's an auto racer, so as long as he dances in an oval around the perimeter of the stage, and always turns left, he should be OK.

MARK CUBAN (partnered with KYM JOHNSON, who returns for her third season). The early favorite to be voted off in Week 1. A group of NBA refs should get together, attending every show, and yell at him while he's on the floor. Let's see how he likes it.

JENNIE GARTH (partnered with newcomer DEREK HOUGH, brother of Season Four winner Julianne Hough). Boy, that 90210 show really rocketed everyone to stardom. If you go to a taping, you can watch Brian Austin Green sweep the floor when the show is over.

JOSIE MARAN (partnered with Season One winner ALEC MAZO, who makes his third appearance). Maran is a model. She could be a really good dancer, or really bad. Either way, she probably won't make the finals.

CAMERON MATHISON (partnered with EDYTA SLIWINSKA, the only professional dancer to appear in all five seasons). When I first heard the announcement, I just assumed this was a woman. Turns out, Cameron is an actor on "All the Days of the Lives of My Young and Restless Children in General Hospital", or one of those daytime soaps.

FLOYD MAYWEATHER - (partnered with KARINA SMIRNOFF, who returns for her third season). Mayweather is a six-time world champion boxer in five weight classes, with an astounding undefeated record of 38-0, with 24 knockouts. So, really, I'm not gonna make fun of him. And let's see Bruno call his routine "crap" like he did Billy Ray Cyrus'.

WAYNE NEWTON (partnered with two-time champ CHERYL BURKE). Mr. Las Vegas fills the George Hamilton/Jerry Springer/John Ratzenberger role of old man whose effort we appreciate, but vote out about Week 8. I'm still waiting for one of them to break a hip. This will be a real test for Burke, who isn't exactly working with Drew Lachey or Emmitt Smith here.

MARIE OSMOND (partnered with JONATHAN ROBERTS, who returns for his fourth season). She's a little bit country. She may surprise some people.

ALBERT REED (partnered with ANNA TREBUNSKAYA, who returns for her second season). He's a model and former pro surfer, but lack of name recognition makes him a real longshot.

JANE SEYMOUR (partnered with TONY DOVOLANI, who returns for his fourth season). Seymour, who looks good for 93, is experiencing a bit of a career resurgence after appearing in "Wedding Crashers."

The competition begins with a three-night event on, MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 24, as the six female stars take center stage, performing either the Foxtrot or the Cha Cha Cha. The men will then showcase their routines, TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 25, performing the same dances as the women. The team with the lowest combined judges' scores and public votes from Monday and Tuesday night will be eliminated from the competition on the first results show, WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 26.

Musical guest the first week: DOLLY PARTON.